The worst week...
For the past few days of lessons in school,I can say that it is totally boring and lifeless. It makes me think and imagine that life sucks. I only think that so far maths and social studies lesson was the most interesting lessons. Chinese totally cannot make it. It makes me feel like digging out my eye balls. A total of three hours of chinese lessons everyday. I rather choose 3 hours of maths. I think that chinese lessons are just draining my time. Regardless of whether I attended the lesson or not,i will still fail for my chinese.It does not make a diffrerence even if i did not turn up. Today, the chinese teachers gave us a thick stack of chinese papers to do. The thickness is almost as thick as my chemistry textbook. Every single paper is filled with millions of question. If i am made to do those questions, i will go berserk. It is just a waste of time. If everone was made to do,very soon,Kranji secondary will become Kranji mental institution.
Bye bye, I go practice chemistry and Amaths le.
Labels: feeling dead
The start...
Today,I just started learning some new A-maths topics. Today,I managed to cover the modulus function and the factor formula from trigo. Finally it is the last day of school. But tomorrow still have to return to school to meet the teachers for the parent meeting session. After that I still have to do duty. Sianz...
I just cannot wait for the group study during the holidays...
TASKS FOR HOLIDAY
1.) COVER MAJORITY OF THE A-MATHS AND E-MATHS SYLLABUS
2.)READ AND PRACTICE PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY
3.)POLISH UP MY CHINESE AND ENGLISH
4.)STRENGTHEN MY HUMANITIES
5.)HELP DYLAN TO MASTER E AND A MATHS
6.)HELP MY FRIENDS DURING GROUP STUDY
7.)FINISH TYS PRACTICES
8.)BUY SEC4 BOOKS
9.)GO FOR PREFECT CHALET
10.)PACK BAG TO GO OVERSEAS
11.)BUY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
Labels: excitment
The new start...
Yesterday,went to popular with wilson. Bought some secondary 4 books to start studying. Now finally,the group study timetable is up. I planned to concentrate a little on chinese. I cannot believe that I am saying this. I actually planned to put in some effort for chinese. I had never plan to ace any chinese test. For the EOY,the chinese paper I totally anyhow do. But now,i planned to give myself a chance to try doing chinese. Afterall, I never ever tried doing chinese. Now I must let mysef try. In the O-levels,in order to go JC,must at least pass or else the result slip would be very ugly. I now have some friends who can help me in my chinese.
This time,I really need help...
Tomorrow pledge taking...no longer nervous...must prove the impossible.
Labels: The motivation
Great pain...defeated.
Today , i just got to have a glimpse of the report book results. The results were dreadful. I was shock to see the fall in my grades. This had furthermore inflicted a deep scar in my memory. What happened to all my hard work I had put in? It all seemed useless. Yesterday , we went up to the hall to receive our results. Everyone was so anxious and nervous. Fear welled up in my mind. I kept thinking I would fail my papers. But no matter what , I told myself I had already done my best. But soon , that conviction vanished as I began to reflect on my performance in the examination. I kept replaying the examination in my mind and seeing the mistakes in full exaggerated glory. At this point of time , I was tormented by despair and regret. There were times when I was more positive and felt that I had actually performed creditably. I would think of the right answers I had given. But of course , this did not last long as my darker moods would move to eclipse these happier moments and I would plunge once more into hopelessness. These flunctuations certainly kept me occupied. When I received my papers , my results totally shattered my heart. I certainly did not have the motivation to carry on. After all the effort I put in , it did not seem to show any signs of improvement. Especially my chemistry. Total 'goner'. Only got 60 for the paper. One of my favourite subjects had now been ripped into shreds. I think I would not want to elaborate on the others as it will only bring back painful memories to my mind. The results shook my mentality. I wanted to jump off the building but did not attempt it. I received counciling from my ex teacher , mr terence tay. He helped me to catch hold of myself as well as to make me think I should not give up. I felt my wounds healing. He is a great teacher who inspires me to aim higher and to go the extra mile. I would definitely not let him down. Even if I did not clinch a good position in class or did not perform well,it does not matter to me now. What is more important now is to stay focus on the route I aim as well as to continue to study. This holiday,I drew up a holiday timetable to manage the different subjects. I planned to study with a group of friends this coming holiday. This december is the time for me and my friends to mug and strive towards success.We will try our best to help each other and brush up on our weaker areas. By next year , we should be ready to face a new and difficult terrain.
To all friends out there: Do not give up. Do not let such a small exam like this make you feel like giving up. Look on the bright side. There is still the o-levels ahead and it is the most important examination in the entire secondary life. It is not worth to give up now. There is always hope. Never let anyone tell you that you cannot acheive the best. Always follow your dream.
Labels: Moving from agony to normal.
The most boring day...
Today was another boring day spent by me in the so called short term holidays. Today got up quite late in the morning and headed to yew tee mac for some gathering before we continued our journey to queens way shopping mall. First time go there without parents and i had no clue how to get there. Thank got xin ying gave us the bus number to go there or we would probably be lost if we tried our luck. Finally after so long , managed to restring the badminton racket and will be ready to face our opponents on wednesday. Looking forward to Wednesday's match. Today was just our luck. Got lost in IKEA. Not to mention we got lost twice. The rain also slowed down our journey. We had no choice but to stay in anchorpoint. sIANZ...Looking forward to Wednesday match....That's all...bye byeLabels: nothing
Trying to relax...
Today...went to play badminton in the morning. Woke up early in the morning and meet up with wilson to book a court. After that we had our casual game with other friends. Quite ok. At least not so boring. At around 1 plus went to play basketball but in the end half way through , the game got ruin by the heavy downpour. Today's schedue got totally ruined by the rain. Actually today we still wanted to go play soccer. Tomorrow still need to go back to school to sit for chinese listening comprehension..Sianz. But after that my friends and i are going for ice-skating. Cool!!! First time skating...sure fall down. Now I still have the feeling that I had done badly for the exams...i hope to overcome this stress fast. My mind is caught in a turmoil. Damn it!!! Next week , i am not looking forward in receiving my results. I am not ready to face the fact , the reality.
Wat should i do??? Can someone guide me???Need help!!!
Labels: feeling down
The return
Finally , it is the end of the eoy exams. Finally i can breathe some fresh air...even if the stress is being lifted off our minds, peace is still not restored...every subject seems so hard to score a high distinction.I just hope to get A1 for maths and sciences and A2 for humanities. it is all i ask...lord please answer to my prayers...i work till this day and i gave all i can to do my best. Why must this happen...i really don know a solution...
thats it...goodbye...time to heal wounds...cannot give up.next year is the o-levels.
its not the end...i will return someday...one day
Labels: depression
